Picture this: It’s summertime and every weekend seems perfect for a day trip to the beach or picnic in the park. Then a glance at your calendar bursts that bubble — all those save-the-dates that rolled in a few months back are finally catching up with you, and every weekend is booked with a different wedding. Suddenly, all those vacation days (and cash) you’ve saved up are going to toward wedding-related travel, gifts, and attire. Here’s how to survive wedding season — and have a blast while you’re at it.
What to Wear
The problem: The challenge when invited to a slew of formal events: look great without a lot of effort. For guys, it’s easy — they usually just need a great suit (gray works for every occasion), but it’s a bit tougher for the ladies. And the idea of buying a new outfit for every wedding probably has your bank account hyperventilating.
How to survive: Three words: Little. Black. Dress. Or at least a monochromatic equivalent. A simple shift can be dressed down with a cardigan, flats, and funky jewelry (nice for an outdoor wedding) or up with heels, glitzy earrings, and a wrap (perfect for a ballroom reception). Jewel tones like emerald, eggplant, or royal blue work well for all seasons, weather, and times of day.
The upside? With simple accessory swaps and an oh-this-old-thing attitude, no one will even notice your dress is pulling double — or quadruple — duty.
What to Give
The problem: Between engagement dinners, showers, and bachelor/bachelorette parties, there’s always the obligation to show up with a little something. And while gifts aren’t technically required, the last thing you want is for the couple to think you don’t care enough (or are too cheap) to get them a nice gift.
How to survive: If money’s tight, don’t feel like you have to go overboard with an out-of-this-world gift every time you attend a party. Make a budget and try to spend 20 percent of that total on an engagement present, 20 percent on the shower gift, and 60 percent on the wedding gift. Or consolidate your funds for one knockout gift instead of several smaller, less expensive ones.
The upside? You know how it’s okay to give a cousin a CD for the holidays, but your siblings expect something more, like an iPod shuffle? Weddings are pretty much the same — the size of the gift can relate directly to how close you are with the couple getting married. Most will register for items in a range of price points, so don’t feel like you have to spend the same amount all around. You won’t hurt any feelings by giving your sister the pricey flatware set while your boss’ niece gets the cute salad bowl and tongs.
Getting There
The problem: If you grew up in San Francisco, went to school in Chicago, and are now living in New York, odds are you’ve collected friends in every corner of the country. But unless you’ve been stuffing frequent flier miles in your mattress, coast-to-coast jet-setting for multiple weddings can really set you back.
How to survive: If your destination is within driving distance, carpool it. Find out if any mutual friends are invited to the wedding too; it’ll be a good chance to rekindle old friendships and save on gas. Likewise for accommodations — consider splitting hotel costs with other friends who have to travel. And be sure to find out whether the bride and groom have booked a block of discounted rooms at a nearby hotel.
The upside? Take a glass-half-full approach and consider turning the expenditure into a mini-vacation. Stay a few extra nights and check out local sites, restaurants, and concerts. You’re going to be in town anyway, right?
Bowing Out Gracefully
The problem: Whether you’re invited to two weddings on the same day or you just can’t miss another day of work, sometimes you have to turn down an invitation or two.
How to survive: When a couple makes their guest list, they’ve usually got a “must-invite” list and an “invite if there’s a cancellation” list. Assess your save-the-dates the same way — prioritize them into “must attend,” “would be nice,” and “won’t be missed.” For weddings that don’t make the cut, ease the blow by sending a nice card with a brief explanation for why you won’t be able to attend (now’s not the time for long-winded excuses … save those for when you miss work) and a small present from their registry.
The upside? Odds are that if you classify someone’s wedding as miss-able, the couple probably won’t be completely heartbroken that you’re not attending.
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